Living Frisbee

Left a Stranger

2011-09-18T18:26:00.002-04:00

They broke everything I ever cared about

They made me turn my back on you

All I ever wanted

Went to waste before my eyes

Damn them all to hell

Made all the sacred things so common

I had to stand and watch it rot

Could not fight and could not speak

As they buried it

As it fell

Damn them all to hell

So I sit alone with what is left

Remembering all the things I lost

And feeling like an intruder

August 19

2011-09-18T18:25:00.000-04:00

The awful penetrating silence
Of
Tree frogs
And crickets
Like a hum
Like a
Depravation chamber
Dark
I stand
Making love to
A
Cigarette
I flick
It dies
Alone
In the street
Like a love grown cold
So old but so fresh
I still feel it like the cool air of summer passing away
Afraid to wake
To face solitude
Afraid to slumber
The darkness and I alone

She's crushing me

2011-09-18T18:21:00.001-04:00

(This is about three years old (Sep 4, 2008). Thought it was lost. Figured I should place it here for my own posterity. Looking back on this is very therapeutic.)

"I bet you were a sight...
…it did rain hard."

"I listened to Damien Rice at work today...
…and thought of you, and wine, and rain...
…and kisses."

I could turn back right now.
I would come back, if you wanted me to.

I want to find a reason to stay.
Make excuses.
Bury your guilt.

Is it me you want or the thought of me…
…or do you just want me when there's no one else around?

I love those looks, but I can't figure out the meaning anymore.
I want to know what to say when the silence tells me to run.
I want to make the awkwardness go away.

There are libraries full of what I don't know,
But every time I leave you, I figure out what it was I meant to say.

Sometimes I think you only look at me that way if you've been drinking.
I wonder if you only want to be with me if it's convenient.
I want to tell you that I don't care if you do.

Whatever was left of me, was crushed long ago.
Whatever it was that drove me is gone.

I want to let you build me back up.
I want you to lean on me.
I want to be able to be silent and look into your eyes.

It seems like…
It always rains when we're together.

I can sit around all day…
…making mixed tapes and paintings,
that I'll never get to give you.

I only end up feeling stupid.
I wonder why I'm wasting my time.

I only want to sit and listen to the rain.
I only want to pretend we're younger.
I only want you to feel the way I do.

"...and thought of you, and wine, and rain...
and kisses."

I went swimming.
I went night swimming.
I know I was quite the sight.

Skydive with me.
Maybe it's all for nothing, but let's try anyway.

"you so far away
still closer now than ever
wish you were to stay"

All that I wish I could do, I feel stupid for thinking.
She's crushing me with those smiles that I was foolish for wanting.

What's the Frequency?

2010-07-05T10:44:00.002-04:00

As I stated in a recent post, I needed to reassess how I wanted to move forward with this blog. I do realize that this blog is extremely personal, intermixed with writing that has benefit in a more sterile technical or educational environment. Not all content should be intermixed, and that has caused some mental blocks as it pertains to posting articles and essays that I have been working on. So, what to do?

I certainly do not want to just kill off this blog or make it completely private. I did consider both those options and either would be harmful.
I do want to keep this blog alive, both for the historical content as well as a place to post personal content.

My solution is to start a second Living Frisbee blog, over on WordPress.
This will become the official Living Frisbee blog, and will focus on the intersection of technology and how users interact with it. Most of my recent blog ideas are focused on this general type of content. Some deviation will occur where I can find a way to tie in related fields, but this outlet will allow for that blog to be public facing with the ideas I want pressed in that direction, and keep content that is more personal one layer removed.

I'm not hiding any content, just depreciating this blog to its place as a semi-private sounding board. This all coincides with my move to place all public links and presence into my Google Profile page. I want to create a more careful and cultivated online presence. The end result is that when you visit my Twitter feed or visit a link I post, you will be presented with a unified Living Frisbee profile... I've just got to finish clipping off all the unwanted growth. :-)

Taking Leave of Facebook

2010-05-06T11:50:00.001-04:00

I've honestly never been a big fan of Facebook. It served a purpose, and allowed arms length communication with friends and family, but all things considered, I never totally enjoyed it.

Imagine my joy, then, to slowly watch Facebook turn from social interaction into advertising juggernaut. Not only have lame advertisements and awful games become the main focus of the site, but slowly and surely, all privacy and controls of that privacy have been eroded. (And don't get me started on the awful interface...)

It's not that you cannot lock down your account, but the difficulty in accomplishing a state of security is so difficult, that to accomplish it requires you to basically lock your real friends completely out of the system.
In their mad race to make money with the service, Facebook has become the needy, intrusive, clingy loser that no one really wants to have around. (Kind of like AOL in the 90's.)

I'm not going to reiterate all the reasons why Facebook has become a mess and a privacy concern. If you would like to peruse the fire hose of articles take a look here for starters: http://news.google.com/news/more?cf=all&topic=t&source=uds&ncl=d321vmH-1XDKT8MAvNk-VUinkKt6M

There is a lot more, but the end result is that I am deactivating my Facebook account until I see that there have been serious changes to how they handle private data. If Facebook proves that they do not care, I will then completely erase my presence there.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Hiatus

2010-05-01T17:19:00.001-04:00

I missed posting on the second anniversary of my ankle replacement, holidays, trips, etc...

Honestly, I've lost interested in posting because most of my thoughts spill out on Twitter. Recently I began to rethink how I want my Internet presence to appear and since I'm on the verge of closing my Facebook account, I have also thought about returning to blog writing.

As a first step I did some spring cleaning of my blog theme and soon I'll be weeding out old posts that were just filler. I also plan on more photo posts and more reflection on life's events. That's the plan anyway.

We'll see how it goes.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:My couch

Who's an ACSP? I am!

2009-11-17T11:52:00.000-05:00

Cannonball

2009-11-14T21:50:00.004-05:00

Damian Rice is an amazing vocalist and writer. I enjoyed this song immensely while on a train ride recently. There's something about trains...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yqM--IMkX4&feature=youtube_gdata

Sir, it's turtles all the way down!

2009-11-14T11:53:00.002-05:00

-F
616-284-1492

Posted via email from livingfrisbee's posterous

The Avalon Motel

2009-11-01T18:31:00.002-05:00

You've got to wonder what the story is behind the Motel in this 1965 postcard that leads to this: http://tinyurl.com/ybbz6e7. Check out the Google Street View. It's close to the same angle.

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We go way back...

2009-10-31T11:52:00.002-04:00

-F
616-284-1492

Posted via email from livingfrisbee's posterous

Hearts and thoughts they fade...

2009-10-31T08:48:00.002-04:00

-F
616-284-1492

Posted via email from livingfrisbee's posterous

Ignorance, Avoidance and Falsity

2009-10-05T17:25:00.002-04:00

Allow me to be overtly oblique...
A good captain knows when to break the Prime Directive.
I should know how to listen when God is telling me to intervene.
A good captain knows how to keep his ship from running aground.
I should have followed, listened and obeyed.
I should have also seen the destruction that comes from obeying and running my ship into the rocks.

Feeling the need to even write this is a depressing acquiescence to reality.

If I had to chosen a life with Christ based on the life I live on earth, it would never have happened. I would have continued to live the life I did. I would not be a Christian. It is a unfortunate thing that many make these decisions based on a mortal life, not the consequences of eternity.
Irrelevant.
This post is not about that.

I lost all my friends after salvation. I conceded to this as normal, weighing it against the greater goals. The same thing has happened again. Though not physically lost as before; the loss is due to the failings of character. This is a loss of trust on my behalf and a loss of caring on theirs.
I am left with just questions.
Why even bother?
What's the point, when all that trusting leads to is heartache?
Why bother to open my heart in the first place?

Right now I feel that the Christians I know are the most self absorbed, conceited, immature, thoughtless, unkind, unloving, cruel, disloyal people I know.
With all that's wrong with the world, and with all the things to be worried about; how can some people be so short sighted and petty?
I've decided that I just need to stop caring. I don't want to deal with it any more. It's my own fault for thinking that people care more than they do and have invested in friendships more than they have. Clearly I am counted among the disposable, and if that's the way people want to be then shame on me for falling for it.

The simple method to avoid hurt to to avoid caring.
It's always worked before. Clearly it is time to return to a proven method.

There's a song title in here somewhere...

2009-10-04T16:39:00.002-04:00

...I just can't place it.

-F
616-284-1492

Posted via email from livingfrisbee's posterous

Window Pain

2009-09-14T17:31:00.002-04:00

-F
616-284-1492

Posted via email from livingfrisbee's posterous

Three threes

2009-09-07T15:07:00.002-04:00

Three trees

Three ducks

Three frogs

-F
616-284-1492

Posted via email from livingfrisbee's posterous

Random Coolness

2009-04-17T09:33:00.002-04:00

It's been a beautiful morning. Nothing of particular importance occurred, but it has been a sampling of fun for the senses. The air was brisk and bracing on the ride into downtown, and the scooter seems to almost prefer the cool air. After taking a test for a class, I had a few spare moments so I stole down to Madcap for some coffee. It's been fairly busy every time I've gone, which is a fantastic thing to see. My latte was perfect as always (Trevor rocks!) and I had a terrific slice of blueberry coffee cake.
While sitting at a window seat, I saw a bird flying up to the roof of a building carrying a long piece of a tree branch up to its nest. A group of men suited up for the job of window washing. A young man on a skateboard seemingly surfed across the sidewalk, over the curb, down the road, and back around another corner without taking his hands out of his pockets or setting foot on the ground. It was graceful, effortless and very cool.
Outside the library, someone had been working with sidewalk chalk. A bright blue Pac Man ghost (Clyde?) and giant power pellets went up a flight of stairs and across the cement. Sadly, I had not brought my camera. The sun is out, the air is refreshing, and it's Friday!
Have a great weekend! ;-)

My Fifteen Minutes for the week.

2009-04-16T08:56:00.002-04:00

Yeah, someone thought my babbling was good enough to be included in an article for the local newspaper.
Organizing expert tells you how to tackle e-mail clutter

Much thanks to Jennifer Ackerman-Haywood from the Grand Rapids Press for all the hazing I got for being on the front page of a section of the paper. ;-)

How I stopped worrying and learned to love the loss of information

2009-03-28T10:19:00.003-04:00

Full disclosure: This is an exercise in navel gazing. (So please excuse all the personal pronouns.) It will probably be worth nothing to you, but it does trace part of my thought process over the last couple months.

I am a geek, it's true. I'm the guy that most of the people I know come to to find out how to tackle their technical deficiencies. To that end it has been a source of pride that I collected so many RSS feeds that I was scanning over almost a thousand posts a day.
Stop.
A THOUSAND posts a day.
Not that I read every article they pointed to, but I am very adept at scanning information and gleaning vast amounts of trivial knowledge for no other purpose than it seems to benefit other people. Sadly, the side effect of this is that certain people stop thinking for themselves and literally never even bother to Google the information they need.
All that is over. I've embraced the answer, "I don't know, go look it up".

Here's what happened: I went back to work full time, in addition to continuing to my college education. I have a new son. I got a Kindle. I discovered that technology is absolutely useless in assisting ones' desire to drink from the fire hose in any way that does not destroy your life in the process.

What did I do about it all?
I attacked the RSS feeds first. They needed to go. Not all of the feeds were useless, but I no longer wanted to see that "unread" count as a challenge to be overcome. The solution: Find a Twitter feed for almost every site that I once read the RSS feed for. Two. Dump every single feed that was essentially a duplicate of some other web site. (Are you aware of how much information is just a re post of another site? It's worse than opening a newspaper and seeing The Associated Press on every byline.) What's left is a very trimmed down selection of blogs by people, not organizations. My daily RSS reading totals about fifty posts.
The obvious side effect is that I was suddenly following a greater number of Twitter feeds. I'm not a fan of following lots of people on Twitter because I despise all the cross chat and people who only use Twitter as a chat room. (I also automatically block all marketing drones and obviously fake spam accounts.)
So how do I handle it? I don't. I simply ignore whatever "tweets" I miss, and simply refuse to let the system run my life as if it was another RSS reader, demanding my attention.

What about the Kindle?
What on Earth does the Kindle have to do with banishing the technology demons? It's quite simple, really. I love to read. I have also collected a massive amount of books in digital format that I would otherwise be reading on the computer. If I'm reading them on the computer, I am more likely to get distracted by my brain jumping in and saying, "Hey, you should check your email or work on that other project!" Moving my books and documents onto a dedicated reader (and a fantastic one at that) keeps me from those distractions. Yes, I can access basic web functions on the Experimental Browser, but other than a quick trip to Twitter or to Project Gutenberg to download a book, there's no reason to drag it up. I for one am thankful that the current technology has not turned the Kindle into an Internet Tablet. We do not need, and I do not want more interruptions in my life in places where it does not belong. I'd rather spend quality time reading and not worrying about the rest.

Also...
Work, school and children have a way of making sure you don't have spare time to dink around with too many side projects. In just a few weeks, I've totally been able to trim off the fat from my daily routine. Only the most important things get my attention. And the attention I get to give them is of higher quality than ever.

Letter from Birmingham - Rhetorical Analysis

2009-03-27T21:41:00.003-04:00

Firstly, go and read the original letter from King. Google is your friend here, but this page has the formatting in the manner I reference it.
Secondly, this was an assignment for a college English class. I know this means that a metric butt-load of other students are working on similar projects. All that is to say: Don't plagiarize, you lazy jerks! If you can't read the twelve-ish page document and do your own work, go flip burgers the rest of your life.
Well, enough of that. For the rest of you who care, or are interested in academic work ...enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Martin Luther King Jr. attacks injustice, hypocrisy and inequality with such great fervor, one would hardly be considered inaccurate for mistaking his style for that of Paul the Apostle. Penning his great works from prison, to admonish and to build up his fellow workers, the forty-nine paragraph Letter From Birmingham Jail can be grouped neatly into thirteen chapters in which King constructs observations, arguments and counter arguments in an incredibly concise manner.

Jailed under the premise of "disturbing the peace", King responds to fellow religious leaders in the opening chapter of his letter. King takes this time to greet his community and lays out his reason for responding directly to his detractors. In the second chapter (2-5) he lays out the authority by which his group came to Birmingham. The great breadth of organizations that stand behind his actions overshadow the voices that reject his presence there. In the third paragraph, King makes one of many Biblical associations between the plight of blacks in America and the call of God upon his people to go and act on His behalf. This paragraph begins the preliminary thrust of the wrongness of injustice, and it is capped in the fourth paragraph with the words: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere". King also chastens southern leaders for deploring his actions in Birmingham, while ignoring the social unrest occurring around them.

Beginning in the third chapter he begins a rolling argument for action that builds with a timeline of wrongdoing; brutality from the current social environment. When negotiations and appeasement break down, the only remaining choice is to act in a manner that forces resolution. King lays out the method by which his group prepared themselves for sacrifice upon the altar of conviction. Carefully crafted and timed, King times the demonstration for maximum political impact. If Kings’ detractors held reservation for his actions, they were based on fear, not on evaluation of his tactics. Pivoting upon the assertion of Socrates that tension is a necessary step to social change, King folds the thought into the human need to rise from prejudice and racism. This thought further extends into King's call for action based on the greater human good. King points out the poor judgment in looking toward elected officials. He points out that officials are only there to maintain the status quo, not bring about sweeping change to society. People still fall to this faulty assumption, and the logic that King uses still holds value to this day. King anticipates the objections of some in his audience, and takes to task the claim that his group has acted in an untimely manner. To this King responds with the fact that the oppressor would never freely give up control over the oppressed people they control. To fortify the argument, King conjures the memory of the long struggle of the United States to gain freedom from their former masters.

The Just Law argument begins in the fifth chapter of the letter. There are legal and logical consequences to ideas. King takes the opportunity of the momentum of his letter to formulate the ideas that will support the remainder of his thoughts here. Obviously, laws are essential to the continuing and orderly function of society. One could not even properly support the idea of the legitimacy of the existence of laws and law keeping outside of a society that brings its structure from the idea of God and His sovereignty. King is able, from this precept, to argue that a law could be unjust and therefore be contrary to the welfare of a nations’ citizens. In his usual manner, King concisely places his entire argument within three short sentences. "How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law" (16). Then, in the seventeenth paragraph, King further cements his argument. Unjust laws are modeled as laws the majority uses to oppress a minority. The sheer size of the majority lends itself to such abuses, but it gives no absolution to the wrongdoing no matter how many people agree with it. To balance the idea of obedience to the law and to the idea that a law can be wrong, King argues for logical consistency from his readers. Breaking any law, even one that is baseless, one must accept the consequences of that action. Again, King conjures a Biblical reference to his thought process. In the Book of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to obey an unjust order to worship a false idol. They themselves must pass through the fire in a literal manner. King and those who serve with him, pass through a fire of trials in their own right.

Switching in the sixth chapter to an argument against the status quo and lethargic white society, King displays his displeasure at a people he titles: "the white moderate" (22). Rather than blame the outright racist forces in America, King deftly positions the hypocritical mentality of the whites that claimed to support him under a harsh light of analysis. While King's detractors openly opposed his methods due to their own variety of cowardice, the white community that otherwise purported to support King failed to follow through in action. Choosing rather to have peace over justice, the shallow "white moderate" disappoints King in a manner that is worse than those who speak against him. This section of the letter also changes the tone of the letter as King turns from apologetics to admonishment and drifts into varying degrees of condemnation that will last through the thirty-third paragraph at the end of the ninth chapter of the letter. Within this argument, King makes a case for action based on Biblical authority and a desire for a measured response to their plight. In the twenty-fifth paragraph, he closes with the idea that man and God are partners in the development of a society and the promise of democracy. Moving into the eighth chapter, King deals with the accusation of extremism. Extremism is a necessity in this instance, and King makes the argument that extremism is necessary to make a change in the general posture of society. "Do-nothingism" from the black community is just as bad as "the white moderate". A moderate, non-violent approach to gaining mindshare of the American people and winning their support is the most effective way to win the day.

The argument for justification for action from great men of history comes in the ninth chapter. Oppression is the great thread of shared experience in all of human history. King ties together not only the suffering of the slaves brought from Africa and other locations, but also weaves in the Israelites’ suffering under the Pharaoh and subsequent wanderings while waiting for the promised land. Paragraph thirty pivots into a conglomerate of historical and monumental figures that stood for justice and righteousness in the face of overwhelming odds. Jesus, Amos, Paul, Martin Luther, John Bunyan, Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson all are considered, on a very basic level, to be pillars of greatness that moved the world forward with their ideas and convictions. King calls his followers to continue on in this manner and for his detractors to see this as a pedigree that strengthens his position.

King changes tone once again in the tenth chapter. After his previous paragraphs, solidified his justification, King returns to a personal narrative. Now that the mindset of the reader is in a manner that is eager for someone to bring justice to the world, he paints a picture of how he came to be a part of this great movement. Without naming her specifically, it is not difficult to catch the reference to Rosa Parks and her refusal to move to the back of the bus. Though many readers of the time might not have known her by name yet, her actions were certainly seen as a catalyst for greater civil rights. Disappointed by the lack of action in white churches, and their empty platitudes, King comes away from these people with the view that they inhabit a faith with no substance and no action. This disappointment drives King toward greater personal action and personal responsibility for the rights of black Americans.

Lamenting over the current state of the American church, King makes an argument against the laxity of the religious. Apathy in Americas’ churches is as guilty for doing nothing as any racist who oppresses minorities. Although softer in tone than his previous admonishment, the words sting the visage of the ineffectual American church. In the forty-first paragraph, he references themes of the New Testament book of Revelation; calling for the church to recapture their sacrificial spirit, much in the same way that Jesus chastises the church of Ephesus for having "...left your first love" (Revelation 2:4). The American church is called by King to endure and experience in the suffering of the civil rights movement as part of their duty and as a part of their destiny. King is sure of the outcome of the struggle because the moral impetus for action is greater than any opposition. In addition, because of the very Constitutional authority by which the country operates, King sees the destiny of the civil rights movement as the fulfillment of those earlier American promises.

Nearing completion, and as a method to tie of the loose ends of his actions, King makes an argument for action based on sacred values and human dignity. King deals again with the hypocrisy of his detractors for their comments and lack of substantive action. By spreading the reactions between arguments and immediately following examples of Biblical authority, the reader and the detractor alike are faced with the choice to either agree with King or to reject the very foundation they purportedly operate upon.

King clearly concedes that he is the subject of much criticism, and no stranger to questioning. By choosing to answer his critics and establishing himself as a leader with the religious community, King justifies his responsibility to act and to appear as requested to be in Birmingham. He cements his Biblical precedent for actions and makes clear that he is well established in method and meaning in his actions. King explains the method and mentality behind actions, gives the hIstorical precedent for action, and gives a reasonable and rational explanation as to why action must be taken now. Looking back, this letter alone would be a great catalyst for greater civil rights and can easily be seen in its own right as a highly successful letter.

Works Cited
King. Jr., Martin Luther. “ Letter from Birmingham.” 1963. http://www.econ.brown.edu/fac/Glenn_Loury/louryhomepage/teaching/Ec%20137/Ec%20137%20new%20material/material_2004/Letter%20from%20Birmingham%20Jail.htm

Of Ankles and Endurance

2009-01-24T22:07:00.002-05:00

A year ago at this very time I was staring down the barrel of yet another ankle surgery. Although I understood that it meant another long recovery and lots of pain, I was willing to undergo the event because my physical and mental well being was shot due to a constant and unyielding routine of pain that left me more willing to have an amputation rather than go another day distracted by my physical failings.
I expected to be able to regain most of my range of motion and to build back up the muscles that had atrophied in the previous years of inactivity. As previous posts have detailed, there were a couple setbacks in the healing process. In the end though, am I glad I had my ankle replaced? Yes, it was worth it, even without the gains that I thought I would have.

The constant grinding pain from bones in constant contact has subsided. I can move more smoothly most of the time, and I can even walk up slight inclines with less trouble. Some muscle mass has been regained, and I make a little more progress each month. However, my range of motion has not increased much at all since the surgery. Each morning I must deal with tendons that have tightened up during the night. I stumble around in pain as those tissues warm back up and loosen up enough to allow for a more normal gait in my step. If I stop for more than ten minutes, it all tightens back up and I start all over. My ankles bones no longer grind, but everything around them is still in excruciating pain. I still need to be careful that I do not roll my ankle on rough terrain.
To top it off, there is the issue of my knee. It sounds like a plastic bag filled with sand, glass and ball bearings. My ACL is still messed up and would likely benefit from its own turn under the scalpel. When I get tired my knee tends to buckle at inopportune moments.
The ankle itself is not fully "baked" either. Bone healing has been slow and who knows what sort of "maintenance" it may need in the future.

So what's the end result of the past year? I've undergone a permanent transformation of part of my body. The past five years have changed my outlook toward my mortal shell. I see it more as strictly utilitarian. Flawed, temporary, broken, expendable and detached. My body is just something else I hold a cynical view toward. If it breaks, I don't care; in fact I sometimes find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wonder when another incident will find me and finish the job...just waiting for George to put me out of my misery.
Until then, I just keep finding ways to occupy my time and enjoying what I have and dreaming of my own little farm, filled with little white rabbits...

Take a hike: 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004...

2009-01-02T15:15:00.003-05:00

If I were to say, group time by experience instead of an arbitrary calendar system, I would say the last five years are a chapter of time I am very happy to see end.
This will, God willing, be the first year I spend *not* in a hospital since destroying my leg in a sledding accident. Since that time I have had to alternately put my ability to work and provide financially on hold while aimlessly trying to get a grip on reality after recovering from yet another ankle surgery. In that time, I've gone back to college and on December 18th, added another offspring to the fold. It's been quite an experience. I won't even say it's been a wild ride, because that is not only trite, but also not true. It has been a plunging black slide of peril.
I hope that 2009 sees some level of stability and an end to the drama. I hate drama. I want to grab drama by the neck and hold it under water until its thrashings cease.
All that is to say that my resolution for this coming year is to murder the personification of instability, and also to spend more time reading, painting and many many more pleasant things...

People drain me, even the closest of friends; and, I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.
- Margaret Cho

We have produced a world of contented bodies and discontented minds.
- Adam Clayton Powell

Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow’s too lazy to form an opinion.
- Will Rogers

Death by Twitter

2008-12-27T13:19:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's true. Twitter has nearly killed this attempt at blogging. Instead of crafting articles, I get to just spew it out peace meal throughout the day. I do plan to rectify this. There is still some place for this blog, I just need to remember to carve out time in my day to add to it.
Within the next week I need to update this space with updates on my ankle replacement and with other life developments. I promise. For real!
:-P

Since people are so easily led...

2008-11-05T08:49:00.005-05:00

How long before we get to replace the stars and bars with this?

Fundamentally, this is what the ignorant voters of the U.S want. Why not go all the way?
Fortunately, our government is so big and inefficient that the slide will be slow, but sadly, this in an irreversible movement that has been occurring since the 60's.
Enjoy your Marxist government America, just don't expect me to support it.

(Before you get your uneducated panties in a bunch, I would have posted this if McCain had won as well. They are two sides of the same coin. Hint: Look at the records, not the rhetoric.)

I'm not satisfied

2008-11-01T18:39:00.003-04:00

There is nothing that I can add to this.

My Goals: They Haz a Fail

2008-09-01T18:59:00.002-04:00

Summer is winding down. My classes start tomorrow.
So how did the great list of summer accomplishments work out? Well... Let's review.
Just for fun, let's assign point values to the list.
On a scale of one to five, five being a solid win and one being an epic fail. This gives me a possible total of thirty points.

1. Fix my scooter.
Mostly accomplished. It's running as of right now, but this lemon from Motorxtremes still has more problems than any bike should.
Score: 4
2. Catch up on reading.
Barely made a dent in my opinion. I swear, every time I turn around, there is more I want to read and not enough time to do it.
Score: 3
3. Catch up on video games.
Nope. Picked up the DS once, and that's about it. Wii parties don't count because they aren't my games anyway.
Score: 1
4. Visit the beach.
Twice. That's right. Two times. It was just too cold.
Score: 1
5. Spend lots of time at Frederik Meijer Gardens.
Yes! We have a winner. Season pass FTW! Family trips to the garden paid for the family pass within just a few weeks and we're still finding reasons to go back.
Score: 5
6. Get a head start on learning German.
Nope. Not really. I did manage to get my materials for class together, but I never really got the quiet time I needed to really sit and read up on the materials I gathered.
Score: 1

So, what's the damage?
15/30
FAIL.
Maybe next summer will be better. Then again, there is that whole "baby" thing so..... maybe not.

In which I save the real purpose of this post until the end.

2008-05-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

Oh those horse and buggy days, how much simpler and slower things were back then. The control of information and news followed a social norm and the lack of our modern contrivances allowed for a more measured release of life's happenings and response to people's interest. Those days are gone.

Once upon a time, when people wished to inform friends and family of life changing events in their lives it would be a matter of writing letters or waiting till their next visit. Over time, telephones became the norm for the transfer of news among friends. The internet and the advent of always connected social groups and brings a whole new level of protocol that I'm not quite sure has been hammered out in a satisfactory manner. It is difficult to handle how and to whom news trickles out, and how to correctly navigate the flood of feedback.

When heralding big news I've decided the hierarchy of information release should go something like this:
(People you have physical contact with)
Immediate family
Extended family
Close friends
Co-workers
(Everyone else in your inter-web community)
All your email buddies
All your AIM buddies
Social network friends
Your blogs

Of course, this is an ad hoc list with no real backing other than my personal feelings about how information of great importance should be handled.

All of this is to say that I've had a difficult time deciding on the course of action to take regarding a very big piece of news family news. As of this writing, most of the extended family is aware, and a few close physical friends are also informed. Our church family knows what is happening. Really, all that is left is to let those my family has connected with over the internet know the big news...
(I certainly hope no one has peeked without reading the whole post, and thereby steeling my fun.)
My wife (@love2cookpie) and I are expecting our third child.
...blink...
...blink...
...blink...
Your prayers, donations of a larger house and piles of money are greatly appreciated.

My Goals: They Haz a Flavour

2008-05-01T08:21:00.008-04:00

So what does a non traditional college student do on his first day of summer break? That's right, he sets goals to make sure he does something worthwhile during his "recovery" period. I tried to schedule classes for this summer, but couldn't get everything to work out properly. Not to mention the whole recovering from surgery thing got in the way. I know, excuses, excuses. In no particular order, here's the big six things I plan on getting done before the fall semester begins.

1. Fix my scooter.
Since the losers I bought the bike from have no intention of honoring their warranty, the task falls to me. Fortunately, it's cheaper and easier than I originally thought. I should be on the road again in a couple weeks, tops.
(The people at Motorxtremes are incompetent and never follow through, even their owner is too important to take care of customers. Maybe I'll post about that one day. Don't buy from them, they suck.)
Edit: Accomplished May 9th!!!

2. Catch up on reading.
Extra curricular reading takes a back seat during classes, but that does not keep me from amassing a backlog of books to dive in to. Among the pile are the complete Sherlock Holmes stories, a book of letters from Van Gogh to his brother Theo, The World Is Flat by Friedman, and a huge pile of other books I'm halfway through. It's a terrible habit of mine, to start multiple books, but I never lose track of the story... rather strange of me.

3. Catch up on video games.
Just like books, these take a back seat, no; these take the trunk when other things need done. Nevertheless, I have a bunch of fun games on the DS to finish up in my spare time.

4. Visit the beach.
This one will be a big help in accomplishing the reading portion of my goals. Not to mention the small beach we head up to near Muskegon is very pretty and very quiet.

5. Spend lots of time at Frederik Meijer Gardens.
Season pass, FTW! Super cool sculptures and plants abound this year. I plan on getting lots of pictures and video.

6. Get a head start on learning German.
As part of my Bachelors in Information Security and Intelligence, I must take a foreign language. I've tried to teach myself German before, but with little to no success. This fall I'll have my first formal class. In preparation, I will be spending time listening to the language CD's I have. Perhaps something will sink in and when classes begin, I won't fail so miserably.

That's the short of it. We'll see how well I do in the fall. I'm sure you'll all be at the edge of your seats waiting to see what I accomplish. Please don't. Go do something!

Ankle Replacement Wars: Episode V

2008-04-24T15:05:00.003-04:00

...In which we strike back at the wound vac!

It's been almost exactly three months to the day since my total ankle replacement surgery. I can finally say that as of today I have actual results that I am happy with. This morning was yet another doctors appointment (YADA). My ankle incision has healed enough where I am officially free from having to be attached to the wound vacuum any longer. I now will be doing basic wet to dry dressing changes three times a day until it heals the rest of the way. I'll be seeing him again in six more weeks.

As far as the actual ankle hardware, everything is setting in nicely. There is still the matter of bone growth to fill in the areas around the implant and over the screws in order to create the supporting bone fusion of the area directly surrounding the upper ankle appliance.

I'm off crutches and walking with a boot that keeps the ankle immobilized. My doctor has encouraged me to try wearing shoes that will fit over my still swollen foot and begin walking on it for as much as I can handle. I foresee a reintroduction to Vicodin in my future as my muscles in that leg have atrophied and my tendons are tight due to lack of use. Obviously I will soon be undergoing long and painful physical therapy... again.

My doctor says I'm a success story in the making, but it's his job to be positive. We'll see, soon enough.

Flashing you my Tweet Cloud

2008-04-12T23:07:00.005-04:00

I seem to be: Going, Getting, Need, People, Think, Time, Coffee, Listening quite a bit.
Not sure it means anything but how I chose to condense my statements. Don't read too much into it, now.
Enjoy.

edit: I just noticed that almost directly in the center is the "monkeys monkey" portion of the cloud. Feel free to read what you want into that. Monkey's are hilarious!

edit: adding link to original http://www.tweetclouds.com/user_pages/livingfrisbee.html

And the moral of the story is...

2008-04-11T22:14:00.004-04:00

Gather around the campfire little children and prepare to drink deep from the fountain of deep and quenching water we call knowledge.

I have come nigh unto the end of my adventure as the lone human occupant of this domicile for the past seven days. I have experienced the heights and depths of tribulation and of course, through great and excessive cunning, triumph!

From the daring harvesting of daily food and drink to the trials of travel about the surrounding city, I have overcome many and varied obstacles. One should not underestimate the difficulty of dealing with daily tasks while strapped to a battery powered vampiric suction device and hobbling about on crutches like a crippled Imperial Walker.

I've learned again to fend for myself against the trials of bachelorhood. By using the least possible amount of dishes, very little requires any further cleaning. I have very little to deal with in the way of costume changes. Track pants and t-shirts have served me well these past seven days.

Thus, I have kept the need for extra trips to the grocery store to a bare minimum. The delicate art of preservation lends itself well to the longevity of ones person. Given the increased ability to conserve, a man could live indefinably in any condition. The most important resources are the most important to conserve.
Thusly, I have stretched the last of a very important resource out for the entire week. I have saved not only supplies, but money as well.

So, what is the lesson? What great truth does this reveal?
The real moral of the story is that one persons use of toilet paper is far less precipitous than of four.

yes, I have made the last roll last the whole week, with more to spare!

So, I was thinking and painting...

2008-04-10T13:56:00.004-04:00

Here I am, alone in the house, for a whole week. I really have not been by myself for long periods of time in my life. I suppose this keeps most people from hearing their thoughts and dealing with their feelings.
I filled much of my time with my en devour into oil painting. As of right now, One is complete and one is in progress. Spending this time leaves part of my brain to think and to ponder. Often, painting or sculpting is an emotionally dark experience for me. No, not often, almost exclusively. I'm not sure why this happens. I'm not sure why emotions in my life lay dormant for years and decades, only to surface while I'm working on a piece of art. Certainly there is a sufficiently stuffy answer, but I'm not that interested to be honest.
I learned something this week, though...
In life, as in art, you need not be afraid of empty spaces.
Also...
Sometimes it is important to be methodical and make plans. Sometimes, you just need to attack things with vigor. The proper form will take shape, often without your consent, and you will be better for it.

Ankle Replacement Wars: Episode IV

2008-03-27T13:41:00.004-04:00

Preface: For the slow kids in class, check the ankle tag to read previous posts.

Well, March 25th was yet another trip to the doctor (YATTTD). I was able to see my most current x-rays and compare them to previous ones. My bones have come a long way. All the screw indentations and saw marks are healed over and they look nice and dense.
I still need to wear my wound vacuum for another two weeks, but I am officially out of the wheelchair and up on crutches. As for weight bearing, It's 50%. This means that I have to wear a leg brace and stomp around clumsily like Frankenstein's Monster.

The actual leg incision that needed the wound vacuum is healing very quickly, and apart from being a huge pain in the butt, I'm grateful for it. In two weeks when I see my doctor again, I should hopefully be off the wound vacuum and healed enough to just wrap it in bandages as skin fills in. At this point, the doctor tells me, I might be ready to walk without the crutches and just using the leg brace for support.

Pain-wise, I'm dealing with getting the feeling back in parts of my foot that have been pretty dead for four years. I've got areas of really tender skin, especially around my open incision. Vicodin is my dear friend for when the nerves get all crazy and the swelling from being vertical gets to me.

Two weeks from now, I'll know more about how things will be shaping up. The ever exciting prospect of painful rehabilitation is just around the corner!

In which I make a post ankle replacement update while hopped up on Vicodin.

2008-03-04T17:20:00.003-05:00

If you aren't already familiar, episodes 2 and 1 are available for reading. I won't go over it again because that would be tedious. Here's the rundown of life since my Total Ankle Replacement surgery in January.

The surgery itself went pretty well. There was a small complication where the amount of bone required to be cut caused the end of my fibula to break off. This is of small consequence since a plate gets put over the bone in that location anyway. A plate is used because the tibia and fibula get screwed and fused together in order to firmly secure the top portion of the appliance into place. But enough about the boring stuff!

Two weeks after surgery I had a follow up appointment to get the bandages off, remove stitches and be put into a cast while healing continues. The long cut that was made from the top of my foot and over the ankle healed perfectly, and did the smaller cuts that were made to cut and lengthen tendons in my calves. X-rays are taken which reveal that a small screw placed into the fibula plate has come loose and is now floating in the soft tissue of the leg, just below the second large incision on the outside of my left ankle. This wound was also not healing properly so stiches were not removed yet.

Two weeks later the option of leaving the stitches any longer was not on the table. So, out they came. Since the wound was messy, they decided to trim away part of the skin beginning to form. After much prodding, the nurse found and retrieved the approximately one centimeter screw from my wound. This was most likely the cause of improper healing. So there I am with a small hole in my leg that requires twice daily gauze changes. For those not familiar, that means that twice a day, sterile gauze gets doused with saline solution and is pushed into my ankle wound until it fill the cavity. It really is as gross as it sounds.

Expecting a decent speed of recovery, I didn't let it bother me too much. Subsequent visits to the doctors office did not leave me much to be hopeful about. It seemed that the cavity continued upward the entire length of the cut. So, they cut open the top portion as well. You see, wounds need to heal from the inside out and having it heal closed while a gaping hole was below would only cause infections and other nastiness. In the case of an ankle replacement, the bone and appliance need to be protected in a very aggressive manner.

So there I was now with two, yes TWO holes in my ankle. I guess really it was just one cavity with two places of entry. No matter. Now, three times daily they needed to be packed with fresh gauze to keep it clean and absorb the blood discharge. At this point, At this point I started imagining about how terrible the whole experience was to turn out. Might I really get my wish and need my foot cut off?
After yet another week of bandage changes the doctor declared that it was time to take more drastic measures. It was decided that the wound needed reopened completely. An outpatient surgery was needed to open, clean out and fit the wound with a Vacuum Assisted Wound Closure. This is also referred to as Topical Negative Pressure. A special type of foam is cut to fit into the wound. It is then sealed with a plastic sheath. A tube runs from the foam to a small device that keeps suction on the wound and has a canister for blood and fluid. Every other day a nurse comes to the house to change the dressing and care for the wound.

The short of it is that I'm not out of the rough yet. I can't begin to put more than partial weight on my heal until the wound heals. I also have extended physical therapy to endure as well.

That's all there is for the time being, I sure hope you weren't expecting a happy ending.

A couple things people should already know...

2008-03-02T19:23:00.002-05:00

1. Passive-aggressive behavior accomplishes nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Seriously. All it does is piss people off until they bail on you out of the sheer frustration of talking to a wall.
The solution? GET A SPINE! Quit being a coward and talk.

2. Being smart doesn't mean you are right.
Being right doesn't mean you will win in life at every obstacle.
Winning doesn't mean things turn out the way you would like them too. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Be prepared to be pretty miserable. Smart, right, victorious and miserable. Congratulations.
The solution? Get over yourself. Your pride only makes you into a jerk who will continue to fail to get it.

3. No one promised you a rose garden. If they did, they better pay up.
The Solution? Plant your own garden and shut up! A little hard work is good for you.

Really? Are you Serious? or Web 2.doh!

2008-02-09T15:42:00.000-05:00

Wait, do you mean that people blog to make money? Really, I find it absurd. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to hunt you down and stop you from trying to do it, but it seems to be about as credible as selling pet rocks: You are a sheister for selling it, or a fool for buying it.
I have a blog (duh) to write stuff down. I have a Flickr account to put up pictures of my life for my friends and family to visit. I Twitter and have even posted a small handful of Utterz. I am not about to go and call myself an entrepreneur or a new media frontier adventurer. I am a geek who like to mess with technology. If that technology is useful, fine, if not, I dump it. There is no monetary value to any of it. I'm not making business connections of forming useful alliances. I'm having fun and the current bubble of techno-tards has completely gone off the deep end in thinking that any of this will have a measurable and positive effect on the real world.
When the Web 2.0 bubble pops, all the self aggrandizing, self referential pomp and ceremony will be seen for what it is: pointless. It's the equivalent of busywork, except your giving it to yourself. Take a step back and look at this whole social media collection of new media entrepreneurs. How is their time spent? It seems to be mostly a big circle of people linking to each other, getting together to discuss new ways of linking to each other and trying out new websites that, wait for it, give them new ways of pimping each other. I'm sure that if I was in the thick of things I could be persuaded that all this activity really means anything, but the signal to noise ratio seems really out of whack.
How many identical articles about Twitter or some new video sharing service do we need? What's the point? Is it any wonder that people look at you funny when you talk about them? Remember how the dorky kids (and I was on of them) got made fun of for making up their own secret alphabet in school? What was the point? Did it make you more accepted or productive? Did it solve an problem? No! In fact that's the point. Most of what I see the web turning into is solutions for imaginary problems.
I don't tend to take anyone seriously to begin with. How am I supposed to act when I see otherwise rational and talented adults waste time and money promoting their hobbies as a legitimate business en devours.
Please, just call it what it is. Just tell the world that you are okay with yourself for liking to post stories on your blog. Just accept that you wasted lots of real money in Second Life and you are seeing no return on that investment (big shock). Stop buying web cams and copies of Photoshop Elements in a vain attempt to become a creative A-lister. It's a bunch of crap! Just have fun and call it that, but stop making everyone else look crazy just because you can't deal with reality.
The web is a great research tool, but most of it us a big waste of time and shame on the lot of you for trying to pretend that a fancier blog layout is more important than a well manicured schedule full of things to do... in the real world.

It's go time!

2008-01-24T16:07:00.002-05:00

As of this writing, I have about 17 hours before I go under the knife for a total ankle replacement. I thought it might be a good time to put all the info together into one post for those who are interested or just unaware.

Now, don't say I never did any anything nice for you all. Ha ha ha!

So, firstly: The back story.
Secondly: The device/ implant/ whatever.
Thirdly: The procedure.
Fourthly: A short video from You Tube that shows it in motion.
Fifthly: Thanks to all, especially all my great friends on Twitter for your concern and support!

See you on the other side...

F

Thoughts on... Communication

2008-01-14T11:47:00.000-05:00

Good communication is the act of being actively aware of what others are unconsciously influenced by and adjusting the message accordingly in order to be effective.

2007 Twitter Stats ...aka: The Year in Review ...or: Wasting My Life, One Tweet at a Time

2008-01-02T14:14:00.001-05:00

Thanks to the hard work of Damon Cortesi, I can proudly(?) bring you a full report of how I wasted ten thousand posts on Twitter instead of something more substantial here.
I signed up for Twitter on Monday, March 26, 2007. It's interesting to see how it all panned out... for better or for worse.

LOL Addendum: @love2cookpie is actually my wife NOT @laurak. Although, she wins for Twitter conversation, it seems. :-D And she also WILL kick your butt at Scrabble!

New Years Continuations

2008-01-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Since I don't make resolutions, I am making a New Years Continuations...

1. I will continue to require actual proof before I believe anything I see, hear or read.
2. I will continue to believe that whatever the majority of people think is outright wrong, and intellectually dishonest.
3. I will continue to believe that there is nothing wrong with eating whatever the hell I want, because food doesn't kill you, but being stupid will/should.
4. I will continue to not own/use a Bluetooth headset (Yes I said headset. It's called a headset, NOT a "Bluetooth", you morons).
5. I will continue to remember that politicians are not: scientists, always right, working in the best interest of the country, incorruptible or smart.
6. I will continue to remember that whatever the big news story is about, it is simply there just to draw my attention away from the real story.
7. I will continue to not watch anything that fall under the genre of Reality Television.
8. I will also continue to not watch shows or read books that are a pathetic rip off of another idea (Yeah, Heroes and Harry Potter, I'm looking at you).
9. I will continue to unabashedly ridicule things I find stupid, wrong, or just a cover up.
10. I will also continue to flaunt my opinions the same way they do on network entertainment (News) because I have the same, if not greater right to do so. So, bite it, you wieners. I'm not stepping down or backing off from anything, because I believe that the majority is clearly in the wrong and they haven't done anything to change my mind on that subject.

P.S. I get a kick out of rilling people up, so chill out!

I said: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2007-12-19T10:15:00.000-05:00

"I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful, lit-up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees," says author, actor, economist and speech writer Ben Stein. "I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians."

Source: PluggedInOnline & Ben's House

If you don't like Christmas, don't participate, but don't give me that pathetic line about feeling pressured, or that I am somehow forcing it upon you. It's utter rubbish. Grow up! No one is forcing anything on you, and if you feel guilty about something it's your own fault. Maybe you should figure out what you need to do about it instead of acting like a spoiled child.

If you have no idea what Christmas is really all about, maybe it's time to get educated about the truth.

TMobile Blocking Twitter: Asks to Lose Customers

2007-12-14T23:24:00.000-05:00

Apparently TMobile has taken it upon themselves to create a PR nightmare by actively blocking SMS traffic from Twitter. Having an unlimited SMS contract no longer means freedom to text to whomever you choose. This also nicely breeched the topic of Net Neutrality. It's so nice to see yet another telecommunications company show its true colors.
I say screw TMobile. They can shortly expect to lose me as a customer and the two numbers that go with it.
To anyone considering a new phone carrier, I encourage you to leave, or stay away from TMobile.

A few threads for you to follow:
http://blog.bibleboy.org/2007/12/response-from-t-mobile.html
http://alternageek.com/hosts/linuxchic/t-mobile-blocks-twitter/
http://forums.cnet.com/5208-10152_102-0.html?forumID=97&threadID=275736&messageID=2653702
http://getsatisfaction.com/tmobile/topics/t_mobile_shuts_down_twitter_service_for_good#full_conversation
http://getsatisfaction.com/twitter/topics/sending_sms_to_twitter_is_down

Bump

2007-12-01T15:50:00.001-05:00

I have nothing to say, but this way your RSS feed readers will not go empty this weekend.
:-)

Last day of NaBloPoMO

2007-11-30T14:44:00.002-05:00

Well, I've made it through the month. Driveling something at least once per day onto the electronic paper mill has been quite an experience.
I know why I don't usually post once a day... I don't want to. Sorry, no sappy tripe about the love of writing and the experience of community, yadda, yadda, yadda.
No, this blog is irregular and off topic enough without having to force something onto it daily.
I did it though, and I guess that's what counts.
Thanks to anyone who reads this for putting up with me.
ciao

I just can't get enough?

2007-11-29T21:10:00.003-05:00

No, enough is enough.
I'm so glad that this semester at college is nearly over. All my illusions of having a good time were completely squashed. Between substandard and inattentive instructors and pseudo math, not to mention an increasingly painful ankle; I am ready to crawl under my covers and not come up... ever!
I'm truly hoping that the next semester will be more manageable. Even though I'm scheduled to undergo an ankle replacement, I have learned to more carefully choose which teachers to learn under. I also plan to not take things so seriously.
Stop laughing, I really want to try and not let the little bumps bother me so much.
On top of it all I am even questioning what field of study I want to major in. This is not at all like me. I'm not rushing into anything, but I plan on making some serious evaluations over Christmas break.
Anyway...
What's past is past.
Let's just hope for the best in the future.
Yeah, right!

The Un-Post

2007-11-28T22:11:00.002-05:00

This is a post to say that I am not posting today, due to health reasons.
Yeah.
This is not a post.

But don't I need Office?

2007-11-27T19:46:00.001-05:00

So you've made the jump and purchased a shiny new Macintosh.
It comes full of software that will easily take care of your everyday needs.
But you bought a copy of MS Office for the Mac, didn't you? What part of Stockholm Syndrome do you not understand?
"But, I need Office so I can stay compatible with everyone else" you say.
Horse Hockey!
You don't need that crutch, and if you bother to learn how, no one will even know the difference. The following windows show a selection of choices for sharing your document in other formats.
Some special effects from Pages, for instance, may not transfer to a Word document perfectly, but most documents that need special formatting are usually best shared as a PDF file. Basic Office documents will come out without any deformities. The real message here is to explore what comes preinstalled on your Mac. If you aren't willing to learn new and easier ways to accomplish your work, why did you bother switching computers systems anyway?

Monday, Bloddy Monday

2007-11-26T23:05:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I was on campus all day. I'm beat. There is nothing left in of brain, but I am victorious!
What does this all mean? Nothing!
I have no idea what anything means. Did you catch my drift. My brain is mush right now. I'm going to bed until I can manage to type something coherent.

I hate Monday.

A Day of Rest

2007-11-25T22:37:00.002-05:00

I got nothing today.
I've been fighting off a cold this weekend and today when I woke up, I wished I hadn't. I spent the day resting and mostly leaving my brain turned off. It was a glorious day of living like the vast majority. (There, I said something snarky. That should count for something.)
Anyway, I'll try to come up with something more post worthy tomorrow.

Retraction of another Kindle critisism.

2007-11-24T17:51:00.000-05:00

I thought that Amazon had missed the boat on a great opportunity to couple with the advent of an always connected ebook reader.
Self published authors are not always the best thing around, but there is no reason in this blog driven, armchair quarterback world that books should be left out of the fun.
Apparently Amazon did have the forethought to put together a system for authors to put their work up for sale in the Kindle marketplace.
The Digital Text Platform gives the aspiring author the ability to do just that. If you are a writer, looking for a low barrier of entry into the world of book distribution; this just might be the next best thing since Apple gave us desktop publishing.

Some things I find striking about the Kindle.

2007-11-23T21:01:00.000-05:00

It's not all bad. Such a shame that Amazon let the money grubbing publishing industry garner all the attention with the book download service. All the compelling geeky features get passed by in the sycophantic stampede.

1. The web browser (to get around paying for RSS feeds (dumb, dumb, dumb)).
2. That you can get around paying Amazon to convert your text.
3. Cheap prices for old or public domain text (that should be free, but whatever).
4. Instant access to The New Oxford American Dictionary.
5. Instant access to Wikipedia.
6. The cover makes it look a bit like a Moleskine notebook.

Almost makes me want to be able to have a custom start up screen for it that says "Don't Panic".

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T11:38:00.002-05:00

Now get out of here, and go eat something! Enjoy yourself, for Pete's sake!

The Kindle? Try kindling. I'm not buying.

2007-11-21T14:59:00.000-05:00

I'm not linking to it, because if you know about the Kindle you don't need my help. If you have no idea, then you aren't missing anything.
After going over the reviews and Amazon video's here's my response:

1. Why is this thing 400 bucks? After dropping all that cash I want some sample content.
2. DRM. What happens to all your books after this service tanks and Amazon shuts it down? It's not like Apple's FairPlay where you can crack it using very simple techniques.
3. Money grabbing. Why are they charging for blogs?
4. Money grabbing. Why are they charging to translate documents to their propriety format? A simple web page could do this on the fly. And why not support plain, rich text and PDF?
5. Make this thing able to connect to local library systems to download the rent-able electronic books that are currently available only for Windows.
6. Do what Apple is trying to do with music, and make books available directly from independent publishers and people who are aspiring authors. What better way for the populace to access up and coming authors.
7. Oh, God, it's ugly!
8. Ditch the nasty, huge keyboard. I can't imagine I need that much space dedicated to a device meant for reading.
9. Oh, God, it's so ugly!
10. Oh, God, it's such an incredible ugly eyesore!

Thanks, but I'll stick with my Newton 2100. It's got beautiful fonts for reading, a soft back light, and supports multiple file formats.

Founders Quote

2007-11-20T23:31:00.000-05:00

The greatest good we can do our country is to heal its party divisions and make them one people.

Thomas Jefferson, 1801

Quotes: Victor Hugo

2007-11-19T22:19:00.000-05:00

The quantity of civilization is measured by the quality of imagination.

To die is nothing; but it is terrible not to live.

Do you know what friendship is... it is to be brother and sister; two souls which touch without mingling, two fingers on one hand.

A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in nothing.

Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters.

Almost all our desires, when examined, contain something too shameful to reveal.

Doing nothing is happiness for children and misery for old men.

I am a soul. I know well that what I shall render up to the grave is not myself. That which is myself will go elsewhere. Earth, thou art not my abyss!

Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant.

One sometimes says: 'He killed himself because he was bored with life.' One ought rather to say: 'He killed himself because he was bored by lack of life.'

From C. S. Lewis...

2007-11-18T14:04:00.000-05:00

There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which every one in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people, except Christians ever imagine that they are guilty themselves....
The essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride.
Unchastely, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.…As long as you are proud you cannot know God.
A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

2007-11-17T22:56:00.000-05:00

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Fall is here...

2007-11-16T23:02:00.001-05:00

Nothing too complex or deep this day, just observation.
It's officially deep into fall in West Michigan. The leaves are thick on the ground and the ones on the trees are in brilliant color and form. I don't really like the cold, but the smells and the foods that accompany this season are more than worth it.
The tree pictured is across the street from my home. Lovely.

Favorite Quotes from Blaise Pascal

2007-11-15T19:00:00.000-05:00

All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling.

Belief is a wise wager. Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.

Do you wish people to think well of you? Don't speak well of yourself.

If our condition were truly happy, we would not need diversion from thinking of it in order to make ourselves happy.

Unverifiable Information?

2007-11-14T16:17:00.002-05:00

The state of internet communication causes me no end of humor. One thing that entertains my thoughts is the assumption that you are being given correct information by the party or parties you converse with.

How does anyone know that the persona I portray has any basis in reality? What are the chances that everything I write is just an elaborate ruse? Outside of a very small handful of people, no one who comes to read this could have any way to know if I am an impostor. I could be a woman, or a really old guy in someplace other than I say. All the pictures I post to Flickr could be fakes, or from someone else completely.

How disappointed would you be to find out that all of this is a lie? Would you even care? Does the very thought cause you to wonder how much you come info contact with daily is completely false? The majority of what you hear or read could very likely be totally made up and you would never know if you didn't check it out for yourself.

There are certainly some things that you can let slide, but please exercise due diligence to be properly informed about things of larger circumstance. Obviously, what falls into those qualifications may vary, but hopefully you catch the drift.

Verifiable via observation...

2007-11-13T21:53:00.001-05:00

Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it.

Stephen Vizinczey

Pompous, self-assured, a waste of human flesh; thy name is the over educated, aloof and unaware. Unaware of the reality that they might just possibly be dead wrong.

Any Given Monday...

2007-11-12T23:08:00.002-05:00

Here's your explanation:
People are lazy. People are stupid. People do stupid and lazy things.
That about covers it.
-Anonymous

My Monday was long and painful. It's nearing the last month and a half of classes for this semester and I am ready for a break. Though, my break will consist of trying to catch up on everything I put off during this semester.

I'm starting to think I'm in a losing cycle again.
Lather, rinse, beat down, repeat.

Is there an option for a medically induced coma?
Just asking.

Peculiar Sins

2007-11-11T20:10:00.000-05:00

One of the peculiar sins of the twentieth century which we've developed to a very high level is the sin of credulity.
It has been said that when human beings stop believing in God they believe in nothing. The truth is much worse: they believe in anything.

Malcolm Muggeridge

Founders Quote

2007-11-10T19:58:00.000-05:00

It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and Bible.

George Washington

(NOT a deist, to all you history revisionists.)

PSA

2007-11-09T22:58:00.000-05:00

The proliferation of "real" animal toys frightens me.
Not in a way that infers I fear for our societies ability to care and relate to living creatures.
Frightening as in those things kinda creep me out in a "One day they will get a signal from an evil genius and they will turn against us" kind of way.

The more you know...

I need a hero?

2007-11-08T17:26:00.001-05:00

hero |ˈhi(ə)rō|
noun ( pl. -roes)
a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities : a war hero.
• the chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities, and with whom the reader is expected to sympathize.
• (in mythology and folklore) a person of superhuman qualities and often semi divine origin, in particular one of those whose exploits and dealings with the gods were the subject of ancient Greek myths and legends.
• (also hero sandwich) another term for submarine sandwich .
-The New Oxford American Dictionary

I realized today that I have a bit of mental hurdle to overcome when it comes to the phrase "... a hero of mine". I think it comes from my image of what heroic really means to me. My earliest thoughts of hero surrounded G.I.Joe (A Real American Hero), and comic superheroes like Silver Surfer and Spiderman.

There is no end of real people who I greatly admire, but my view of humanity as inherently flawed leads me discount any accomplishment as merely a temporary accomplishment. I know far too well that what we uphold as great and wonderful in people is just the act of ignoring human flaws.

I also do not agree with attributing the term hero with Jesus as some are apt to do, because that is just, in my opinion, a superficial way to attribute God's plan of salvation.

Do I need a hero anyway? That's easy. No.

Slow down, you move to fast...

2007-11-07T21:45:00.002-05:00

Today I am reminded of how important it is to rest. There is a reason that the Israelites were given a requirement of rest, not only for the body, but for the land they lived on. Going, going, going all the time takes its toll on every aspect of a person.

So today I did very little. I tried to relax and let my body fight off the growing stiffness that accompanies the cold of fall.

Stay warm, and rest, if you can.

Cheers.

So tired, tired of waiting...

2007-11-06T22:22:00.002-05:00

I am certain that there is a conspiracy to make the time from now till the end of this school semester last until judgment day. I'm literally having the least fun in school since I was in high school... a long time ago.

As the season turns to fall, I'm feeling so tired. I'm tired all of the time. It might have a great deal to do with constant ankle pain, but as of right now I have approximately 79 days until I have my operation to replace my left ankle.

It's a much shorter time until the end of the semester, but I don't really care about that right now. I really just want to go to bed and stay there until late January.

Anyone have a problem with that?
No?
Didn't think so.
Goodnight.

All sound and fury, signifying nothing.

2007-11-05T15:42:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if all the effort and energy expended on any given long term goal is really worth the effort. Am I really going to get further ahead, or am I just going to get 99% there only to be crushed by a cement tube falling off a truck?

Is it safer and more productive in the long term to aim lower? Most people seem to get by without ever firing up their brains. They just coast through. They enjoy network television, tabloids, popular media and never think twice that they are just wasting oxygen.

Perhaps if I saw more individuals making an effort and making a difference I would think the opposite, but most people I know are just spinning their wheels and they seem happy enough. Maybe resigning to a life at the bottom of the barrel is good enough and I should stop trying to succeed. Getting ahead the honest way seems to produce little and I couldn't bring myself to act in an unethical manner.

Ultimately none of it will matter, so why even bother?
I have no answer right now. I just keep plodding along, hoping something worthy of the effort will happen before I die.

10, Not X & Mac Not MAC

2007-11-04T16:03:00.000-05:00

I dislike the notion that this sort of thing still needs corrected, but two constant sources of ignorance still plague the technological landscape. These transgressions apply to the incorrect naming and spelling of things Apple.

1. The oldest offense. I'll make this easy. Mac is a shorthand version of Macintosh, the operating system created by Apple Inc. MAC is short for Media Access Control.
Please, do yourself a favor and use the correct one. You are only making yourself look like an ignorant noob when you write it the wrong way.

2. Mac OS X is the name of Apples tenth version of it's operating system. The big X you see in print and packaging is a roman numeral 10. It is not X (eexs) as in the letter of the alphabet. Once again, please do not be a pathetic noob, use the correct pronunciation.

Mac OS X Newbie Tip #2 -Hide the Dock and clean your Desktop

2007-11-03T18:35:00.000-04:00

Does your desktop look something like the image on the left?
Do your applications get cheated out of valuable desktop space because your Dock is always visible?
Hide that dock and reclaim that space!
There are a many of ways to access the dock preferences:
1. Right click, or ctrl+click on the divider line on the dock. From there you can activate auto hiding and other features.
2. Use the keyboard. Command+Option+D Hides and shows the desktop. With the Dock hidden you can access it by bringing the mouse to the bottom of the desktop.
3. System Preferences also houses the Dock preferences as well.

Now, why on Earth do you have your hard drive icon on your desktop? Are you still living in the past? Your files are housed in your home directory, not the root of the hard drive. Gone are the days where it was safe or appropriate to put your personal files and applications at the root level of your computer.
Head to the Finder menu and click Preferences.
(As a side note, almost every program you will encounter will keep their settings here. Do yourself a favor and explore these settings.)
From the Finder preferences you can turn off that silly desktop icon. Change the default Finder window to show your Home folder. After this, merely clicking on the Finder icon in the Dock will open your Home location. The Finder's Go menu is also a gold mine of accessibility, but that is a subject for another post.

From the Finder preferences you can also shut off the annoying "Are you sure you want to" trash warning.
Delve around these settings and you'll find plenty to like, and ways to simplify your navigation around the Mac OS. No need to thanks me, I'm just doing my job. ;-)

Mac OS X Newbie Tip #1 -Expose

2007-11-02T16:39:00.000-04:00

When you first start using the Macintosh, many useful features are turned off by default. Today I will cover Expose. Via keyboard function keys or mouse gestures you can view and switch between all the visible windows and applications you have open. With Expose there is no need to minimize or close windows.
As an added feature, Expose allows you to do fancy drag and drop maneuvers with text, images and files.

To activate Expose, go to the System Preferences application located in the Utilities folder. As an added tip, it is useful to just drag System Preferences into the Dock for fast reference. I like to keep mine next to the Finder icon all the way to the left.

As you can see in my setup, I utilize all four corners and have set up matching keyboard function keys. This allows me maximum access to the features without needing to switch between the mouse and the keyboard.
I don't know why Apple chose to leave this feature turned off, as Windows users aren't accustomed to actually exploring their operating system. I fear they have been stigmatized by the constant warnings and interface inconsistencies of Windows.

The Perils if Mail.app and IMAP

2007-11-01T17:21:00.000-04:00

Thankfully, Google added the ability to access GMail via IMAP, so I should be able to remove the old account in Mail and add a IMAP account, right? Wrong.
The problem? From Mail's help:

Removing an account in the Accounts pane of Mail preferences removes the account setup information from Mail and deletes all mailboxes and messages for the account that are saved on your computer.

The partial solution?
Make the old account inactive so that is disappears from the Mailbox source list.
I still do not like how a separate entry for IMAP accounts. I wish it was incorporated into the existing mailbox list.
I find it a bit confusing.
I also do not understand Mail's handling of drafts, spam, trash and sent mail in regards to IMAP. The preferences pane is very cryptic and unhelpful. I'll see how it goes. It might take some getting used to, and it might be a complete wreck that I walk away from and change the account back into POP only.

There you have it.
:-)

A letter from a relative in Canada...

2007-11-01T09:50:00.001-04:00

I actually held on to this until today so that the most people might get a look at it. My wife has family in Canada. Many politicians in America would like us to adopt a form of socialized medicine like what Canada has. Although they won't call it by that name, it's the train wreck they want us to buy a ticket for.
Here is the letter in its unedited form...

I saw on the news up here in Canada where Hillary Clinton introduced her new health care plan. Something similar to what we have in Canada. I also heard that Michael Moore was raving about the health care up here in Canada in his latest movie. As your friend and someone who lives with the Canada health care plan, I thought I would give you some facts about this great medical plan that we have in Canada.

First of all: 1) The health care plan in Canada is not free. We pay a premium every month of $96 for Shirley and I to be covered. Sounds great! What they don't tell you is how much we pay in taxes to keep the health care system afloat. I am personally in the 55% tax bracket. Yes 55% of my earnings go to taxes. A large portion of that (I am not sure of the exact amount) goes directly to health care our #1 expense.

2) I would not classify what we have as health care plan, it is more like a health diagnosis system. You can get into to see a doctor quick enough so he can tell you "yes indeed you are sick or you need an operation" but now the challenge becomes getting treated or operated on. We have waiting lists out the ying yang, some as much as 2 years down the road.

3) Rather than fix what is wrong with you the usual tactic in Canada is to prescribe drugs. Have a pain- here is a drug to take- not what is causing the pain and why. No time for checking you out because it is more important to move as many patients thru as possible each hour for Government re-imbursement.

4) Many Canadians do not have a family Doctor.

5) Don't require emergency treatment as you may wait for hours in the emergency room waiting for treatment.

6) Shirley's dad cut his hand on a power saw a few weeks back and it required that his hand be put in a splint - to our surprise we had to pay $125 for a splint because it is not covered under health care plus we have to pay $60 for each visit for the dr. to check it out each week.

7) Shirley's cousin was diagnosed with a heart blockage. Put on a waiting list .. Died before he could get treatment.

8) Government allots so many operations per year. When that is done no more operations, unless you go to your local newspaper and plead your case and embarrass the government then money suddenly appears.

9)The Government takes great pride in telling us how much more they are increasing the funding for health care but waiting lists never get shorter. Government just keeps throwing money at the problem but it never goes away. They are good at finding new ways to tax us, but they don't call it a tax anymore it is now a user fee.

10) A friend needs an operation for a blockage in her leg but because she is a smoker they will not do it despite paying into the health care system all these years. My friend is 65 years old. Now there is talk that maybe we should not treat fat and obese people either because they are a drain on the health care system. Let me see now, what we want in Canada is a health care system for healthy people only. That should reduce our health care costs.

11) Forget getting a second opinion, what you see is what you get.

12) I can spend what money I have left after taxes on booze, cigarettes, junk food and anything else that could kill me but I am not allowed by law to spend my money on getting an operation I need because that would be jumping the queue. I must wait my turn except if I am a hockey player or athlete then I can get looked at right away. Go figure. Where else in the world can you spend money to kill yourself but are not allowed to spend money to get healthy.

13) Oh did I mention that immigrants are covered automatically at tax payer expense having never contributed a dollar to the system and pay no premiums.

14) We now give free needles to drug users to try and keep them healthy. Wouldn't want a sickly druggie breaking into your house and stealing your things. But people with diabetes who pay into the health care system have to pay for their needles because it is not covered by the health care system.

I send this out not looking for sympathy but as the election looms in the states you will be hearing more and more about universal health care down there and the advocates will be pointing to Canada. I just want to make sure that you hear the truth about health care up here and have some food for thought and informed questions to ask when broached with this subject.

Step wisely and don't make the same mistakes we have.

Is this what you want to support? Is this what America needs? Research, choose wisely and vote not on a party line, but on what is best for your country.

Joining The 20th Century

2007-10-17T14:07:00.002-04:00

Well, I've lived over 30 years without ever living in a house with cable or satellite television. I know, you are all shocked: "How could anyone live without the constant IV drip of stupidity?" I don't know either, but today they got to me...through my wallet. (Note: wallet is purely metaphorical. I do not use a wallet.)

My internet provider, Comcast (boo, hiss) has informed me that if I sign up for basic cable service, I can get a speed boost in my internet that takes it up to 6 mbps from the current 4 mbps, and my bill will actually be a couple bucks less than it currently is.

I spent a couple days researching this to confirm the details. I'm the constant skeptic, especially of anyone who provides a service in a near monopoly fashion. It all checks out, and within the next 48 hours the bunny ears will be retired and no longer will we wave our arms frantically trying to get the television to stop making loud fuzzy noises as the picture varies between black and white and static.

Now I'll never get to try my experiment with tin foil on the antennas. :-(

Paranoia is for the Birds

2007-09-29T13:03:00.000-04:00

If the Federal Government suddenly made it mandatory for every citizen to keep a running log of their activities on the internet, privacy advocates would be up in arms over the invasion of privacy.
It will never happen that way, because there is no need for it.
Look around this big ole' internet and you will find a wealth of personal information no more difficult to farm than a simple Google search. The public willingly and knowingly puts out personal information with no regard. No one is screaming about invasion of privacy or personal rights. We have decided ourselves that not only are we unafraid of people seeing into our personal lives that we thrust ourselves into the spotlight.
Maybe it doesn't matter anyway, because the truth is that we are not that interesting. Sure, it is fun to glimpse our friends lives from around the planet. It's like a giant modern pen pal exchange of information.
So Flickr on you crazy shutter bugs! Keep posting to Twitter about what your cubicle farm is ordering for lunch. Blog about road construction and how bad that restaurant was.
Maybe the government farms this stuff. Maybe it's time to realize that they aren't interested in the day to day happenings of 99% of the population.
Relax.

Rainy Fridays and the Joy of Eating

2007-09-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

My first Friday night class of the Fall semester and thunderstorms are expected. No big deal, I think. I have my trench coat and goggles to protect me as I roll out of the parking garage at GRCC. The streets are crowded as people pour into the city for fireworks. It's Celebration on the Grand River time.

As I begin leaving the downtown area, the rain begins to come down pretty hard on me and my little scooter. So much for catching some fireworks, I'm heading home. The rain stings my face and clouds my goggles. I actually have to hold my lips in my mouth to protect them. Occasionally I wipe some water from my face and goggles.

There are three sections of construction detours I must weave around. One of the detours leads me in to the Hispanic section of outer Grand Rapids. Halfway through this detour there is La Familia, a small grocery store. Nightly they set up a grill and a big sign that says: Tacos. It always smells so good. Authentic Mexican cuisine is a rare treat. This evening I rode my soggy self over and took the plunge.

The menu was written on a white board, basically consisting of tacos, some things that the rain has washed away and corn on the cob. I asked for two tacos. I was instructed to take the slip with my order into the market to pay. Upon returning, a little boy asked for my slip and I was handed a plate containing two of the most beautiful soft tortilla tacos I have ever laid eyes on.

I hung my messenger bag and helmet on my bike and took a seat at the picnic table next to the grill. The little boy enthusiastically said "Nice ride!"

The table was strewn with newspapers in Spanish and plates of food that the family was eating from between customers. I figure most people take their food to go, because there was only one table set up and mainly the little kids occupied it. It must have been strange to have one large white man visit their little taco stand. I'm sure most people in Grand Rapids are too uptight and prejudiced to stop into the Hispanic district at night. They are missing out!

My friendly adolescent maitre de suggested I douse my tacos in some sauce they had there. Hmmmm, good suggestion little man! I spent about 10 minutes eating before suiting back up, thanking my hosts and zooming back into the rain that stung my lips and fogged my goggles.

Home. time for some coffee. Time to cap off the evening with mi familia. I know I'll be visiting that little stand again soon.

Microsoft Thinks You are Stupid. Are You?

2007-09-07T13:34:00.000-04:00

I needed to install Windows XP on my MacBook for a class this semester. Luckily I have Parallels to protect me from looking at it more than needed. Upon installing software for a class I was prompted to reboot Windows. After Windows became available the desktop had four new shortcuts, of which only one was needed. Thus begins yet another rant against the stupid behavior of Windows and the developers who think they must keep hitched to this broken old wagon.

1. Why on Earth must program installers hijack the whole screen? What magical conjuring requires all of the attention of Windows so that even the thought of opening the Start menu might bring the whole house of cards down. Do you know how often I experience this kind of screen lock down on my Mac? Never!

2. What jack-assery thought process finds it necessary to put shortcuts for a PDF reader and a media player on the desktop when the program that will use them calls the application on its own? This is compounded by Windows desire to point out the new applications in the Start menu, as if I was unaware of the reason I went through 20 minutes of mindless install tedium.

3. I go to delete the offending shortcuts and I get this dialog box:

Wait, do you mean to tell me that Microsoft made the active decision to put in a dialog box to confirm what is considered non-destructive behavior until you empty the trash?

Does the common Windows user think that throwing away a shortcut actually means you have deleted a program? I have a sneaking suspicion that it does. I've seen far too many Windows desktops literally full with icons that the user has never touched. Perhaps they fear the repercussions of a clean desktop. It might be that the Windows Start menu is such a poorly contrived method of application organization that they could not find the application if it wasn't sitting right on the desktop among 4 installers for Quicktime they think they should keep around and all the photos from their digital camera they will never organize.
Microsoft must have concluded that users really thought that deleting a shortcut meant removing an application and decided that every time you go to get rid of one that you needed a reminder to visit the useless Add/Remove Programs utility.

This is the default behavior.
The. Default. Behavior.
Windows assumes you like a messy desktop, and if you want to clean it yourself that you must want to remove the program associated with it.

I find this stupid, insulting and yet another example of why Windows is a slow kludge that costs the economy billions of dollars in lost productivity.

Whew, I feel better now!

I Am A Playground Warrior!

2007-08-31T18:44:00.001-04:00

Two Faced

2007-08-31T11:38:00.000-04:00

I wanted to make something cancerous and ugly.
I wanted to create a sketch that conveyed an intangible state of mind.
I wanted to make this even uglier, but I don't like the feelings it brings up.
Feel free to make it uglier in your own mind.

I usually try to either write or find a poem for my sketches, but I don't want to waste any more time than necessary on this one.
I hope you understand.

Blogging Addiction? Rediculous!

2007-08-31T11:25:00.001-04:00

77%

Mingle² - Dating Site

Personal DNA Report: Cautious Builder

2007-08-29T10:16:00.000-04:00

About...
You are a Builder
You are detail-oriented, cautious, and practical, making you a BUILDER.
You are excellent at focusing on the concrete, functional elements of things, so you're good at making things happen.
Pursuing novel ways of doing things helps you to be efficient.
You're great to have on a team, as you understand how things work and don't let your ego get in the way.
You're perceptive, down-to-earth, and realistic.
You don't see a need to commit to a set routine or schedule—you'd rather improvise a little.
Although you may doubt yourself sometimes, you have the skills and the curiosity to pursue broader adventures.
You like to consider a lot of information before making big decisions, and you think about that information in realistic, thorough ways.
You don't concern yourself with flashy styles or surface appearances—you're far too sensible for that.
You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
If you want to be different:
Think more abstractly about things without abandoning your valuable sensibility.

How you relate to others...
You are Cautious
Being independent, practical, and somewhat guarded with others makes you CAUTIOUS.
You tend to keep to yourself, wary of trusting others with personal information.
The values that you hold are central to your identity—you are a very principled person.
You have respect for the natural order of things, and a good sense of right and wrong.
Investigating the world through observation, as opposed to interaction, is preferable to you.
You have an appreciation for those who have attained a certain level of accomplishment, particularly the rare few who have succeeded honestly.
You are efficient—when you work with others, you get down to business, and fulfill your obligations.
You sometimes wish that others would be more like you—less hindered by their emotions, more respectful, and more private.
If you want to be different:
Finding a few close others whom you can trust will allow you to express yourself more openly, and possibly to learn more about yourself.

The Day I Lost My Invincibility

2007-08-28T17:06:00.002-04:00

Sunday, January 18, 2004
Richmond Park, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Some time between and and three in the afternoon, I can't clearly recall the time.

Lots of kids on sleds and tubes sliding down the big hill.

Another hill farther up into the trees, populated by kids on snowboards.

A steep hill. An icy hill.
Seemed like a more exciting prospect considering my love of speed when it comes to sledding.
I had a big toboggan style sled that could fit two people sitting, or my entire body lying down.
The snow was especially deep as I trudged along the tree lined hill up toward the top of the hill.
Knee deep and slow.

I was wearing two pairs of pants, three pairs of socks, a couple shirts, an thick heavy coat, knee high Sorel Boots laced up tight, goggles, gloves and a hat like what you see the Russians wearing in spy movies.
Between carrying the sled and the clothing and the general trudging, I was more than a little winded by the time I reached the top of the hill. The kids on snowboards were only traveling half way down the steep incline before loosing their balance and needing to come back up for another run. I casually asked one of them if it was safe to go down. I was half joking, and only 1/10th really concerned. The rest was my general lack of attention to my surroundings as I am usually thinking of something other than where I am physically.
As the hill cleared, I surveyed the positions of the trees and the angle of the slope. It was very icy. The sun shone bright off the surface. Most of the trees were far off to the side and of no concern. Near the bottom of the hill there was one formidable tree that needed to be avoided, but with a true aim I did not see this as much of an issue to worry about.
I sat the sled down and placed my feet at the front where two indentations allowed my heels to be secured. I dug my hands into the hard, icy top layer of the snow, pushed back as far as my arms would reach and pulled hard forward as the sled launched over the edge of the hill. I grabbed the handles at the side of the sled, keeping me head up to insure I had the correct trajectory.

I was good to go.
The sound of plastic screaming over ice filled my ears.
I was moving fast! Very fast! It was a very tall and steep hill.
There was a dip and a bump three quarters of the way down.
There was no way I could have seen this from the top given the sun and the sheer whiteness of the ground.

You know that silent sound that they always use in movies right before two cars crash together? That was the sound as I launched into the air at what I could only judge at exceeding thirty miles per hour. The bump surprised me and had caused my sled to leave my body.

I was a 215 pound bullet!
The sled went off somewhere to the right.
I ejected leftward toward the very tree I had aimed away from.
Still feet first and airborne.
My left leg was the only part of my body that I couldn't pull away in time.
I was directly lined up so when I collided with the wooden giant the entirety of my foot from the toes to the heel collided. As the force of my body came behind my leg I collapsed up against my knee. I pushed off the best I could manage.
I collapsed to the right of the tree as the momentum of my ride ended.

Have you ever jumped from a reasonably high surface and landed feet first?
You know that shaky feeling it gives in your heel and bones?
That's what my leg felt like, right up into my left hip.
It didn't hurt too badly.
I tried to stand up.
No dice.
I fell right over.

I was told later that a cracking sound could be heard throughout the whole area. A park worker was inside a building nearby heard the impact and came out to investigate.

A lady who was nearby came over when she saw that I was not getting up. I told her where the people I was there with were at, and she went to get help. When my friends came over they placed me back on my sled to get me off the ground and to position my legs above my heart. Assistance was called and when the EMT wanted to get me to a hospital, I declined. I really just wanted to go home and soak in the tub. I figured I had just sprained my ankle and would be able to go back to work within a day or two. I also did not want the bill that accompanies a ride in an ambulance. They would not let me go home, so they carried me on the sled to a friends van and loaded me into the side. I felt weird crunchy movement inside my boot. Not a good sign, but I tried to ignore it as we drove to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital I was loaded into a wheelchair and waited in the emergency room. It really hurt to sit upright, but I was patient and tried to focus on other things.

When I was wheeled into the triage room I unlaced my left boot and slowly pulled it off. I was not going to let them cut it off for some silly sprain. Then the socks came off. That hurt a little more than I would have liked. The right side of my foot was swollen up like a softball and was black and green. My foot itself was cocked to the left in an inappropriate manner. They decided that I had a really severe sprain. I was sent to the area they use to process minor cases, assured that I would only be there about an hour longer.

In a cold room my wife helped me get my clothes off and change into a hospital robe. Sitting there in the chilly air was making my leg hurt even worse. After a few minutes an actual doctor started to enter the room. Seriously, he did not actually get all the way into the room before saying: "That's not a sprain, that's broken."
I then had to have a CAT scan done on my leg which included even more painful movement. I was not feeling as good as I wold have liked. After the scans and x-rays it was determined that I wold require surgery. Given the attention I was paying to the increasing pain, I did not fully grasp what was happening. I had never broken a bone in my life. No degree of recklessness on my part had any consequences.

I was taken into a room where they said they were going to perform a "reduction", which in laymen's terms means they put IV's into you, knock you out and push and prod your bones back into the shape they are supposed to be in. Apparently, even if they knock you out, your body will still scream in pain.

Later that day, print outs of the x-rays were brought to us. I had fractured all my toes, the bones in my foot, my ankle had been reduced to a big cloudy mess and my fibula had broken as well. The impact had also sheered off a bone in my knee. The doctor that was assigned to my surgery came into the room, he took one look at the printouts and exclaimed: "They didn't tell me about any of this!" Apparently, they had not properly assessed the situation. Obviously I was not going to make it back to work Monday morning.

That was Sunday.

I endured the excruciating pain until 9:45 Monday night. That was the earliest they could get me into surgery considering the type of injury. Scheduled for about four hours, it lasted nine and a half hours!
I was full of plates and screws and a pin that ran from underneath the outside of one of my toes down through a broken metatarsal. Two screws permanently embedded into two metatarsals one plate and four screws inholding the fibula in place. One plate and a number of screws reforming the bottom of my tibia. The original cartilage had been turned into a chunky mess and the bone around it pulverized. A nasty, long screw held chunk of bone together in my knee until it healed. I spent until Saturday afternoon in the hospital.

The next six months were spent under heavy pain medication and living with my leg propped up high above my heart. The simple act of getting up to go to the bathroom was so painful and exhausting that I would need to nap each time. Sleep was overall painful and sporadic. I last the majority of movement in my ankle. This led to atrophy in the calf muscle. My ankle would constantly give out. My knee sounded like a Barbie doll. The arthritis making a loud, crunchy, ratchet-like sound. The whole ball of wax was melting away in a rather painful manner.

I had two follow up surgeries just to remove the hardware as the bones healed, but it became apparent that the damage to the cartilage was permanent. Nasty arthritis was setting in as well. At the three year mark I was scheduled for a fourth surgery to remove the plate from my fibula, cut and lengthen my calf muscle, tighten the tendons in my ankle, cut out the front of my talus bone and take cartilage from my knee and pack it into the cavity in my ankle where the original cartilage once was. That's the boiled down way that I understood it anyway. The goal was to make it possible for my ankle to have more movement.
Try extending your foot up and down, then left and right. My mobility is less than half of that. It's not fun to try and walk like that.
In fact, I can no longer walk at any rate that might be considered quick. Worse, I cannot run or jump or even stay standing for longer than 30 minutes. The bone grinding and tissue swelling that happens in my knee and ankle forbids it.
The fourth surgery in January 2007 did take away much of the searing nerve pain, but within six months the cartilage moved to my ankle dissipated and the arthritis grew much more painful in my knee and ankle. To complicate matters, the stress caused by walking funny caused stress and arthritis in my other knee and chronic lower back pain.
I am scheduled for an ankle replacement in January 2008 if the pain continues to worsen. (Which it has so far.)

I've been able to maintain full time status as a student so far. I decided to go back to school for couple of reasons:
1. I can no longer properly perform any job that requires long periods of standing while being pleasant at the same time.
2. I hate retail and phone jockey work. I find it insulting and boring. (Sorry anyone who does it for a living.) It pays the bills, slightly, but honestly there is nothing about it that I find personally redeeming. I played that game long enough and life is too short to waste it any longer doing work with no point to it.
3. My brain really wanted some sort of challenge. (I'm hoping that happens soon.)

I'll update this post as the situation progresses. At least now I have somewhere to point people to when they want to know about the whole sorted affair.
Parents: Feel free to use this post as as way to scare your kids if you need to.

-------
Addendum October 2007
I am scheduled for a total ankle replacement on January 25, 2008. My entire ankle region has collapsed and there is nothing but bone on bone down there. Pain medications don't really help much. It's going to be a long, painful wait.
This is what they will be doing to me: Ankle Replacement Surgery.

Living In Your Cage (Come Out and Play)

2007-08-28T12:35:00.000-04:00

I was taking a ride on my scooter the other morning, and as always I was amazed at the things I experience when I'm not insulated by a vehicle.

Riding outside if the cage you pick up the scents from homes and restaurants.
You tend to see things along the side of the road that might otherwise go unnoticed when you are out in the open.
People are more inclined to make eye contact, smile and talk to someone leaving themselves unprotected.

I once had an impromptu conversation in a parking lot because an elderly gentleman who was passing by wanted to comment on how neat he thought my bike was and how he used to ride something similar when he was young. He turned of his truck and kept talking for more than half an hour about how he used to own all the land that we were standing on. He told me the story of how he strong armed the local officials into giving him what the land was worth when they wanted to develop on it. I met the man a local street was named after. How often does that happen? All of this was just because I was out in the open. In this instance I was physically out in the open, but I was also open and available to sit and listen. I didn't have to say much, if anything at all. It would have been detrimental to myself to either blow him off or to start interjecting with my own thoughts. My thoughts or experience would not be relevant. I was there to learn, and that meant shutting up.

The real point I want to convey is that whether it's a physical experience or a purely social one; there is something to be said about staying open and taking it all in. In the realm of thoughts and ideas, it is good to be a little exposed.

I want to clarify what I do not mean by that. I am not espousing ecumenicism, relativism or the act of assuming that everything you hear or read has a bit of truth in it. I find that to be not only intellectually dishonest, but lazy and dangerous.

What I am saying, is that it is possible to hear the voices around you and consider where they come from without having to integrate or accept them. Use your brain and you might find out there is a lot of humanity hidden under the cruft people have layered on themselves.

We travel the roads daily. Thousands of people are around us, but we never think of them as people. We see vehicles that have become the extension of the driver. This is silly, because they did not build that machine, they bought it. They are not suddenly a different entity because of what they have covered themselves in. We are not suddenly more or less because of what we espouse or absorb as ideas. Sadly it is simpler and preferred to take accept the cage as what the person really is. Am I a big scary man when I drive my big scary car, but suddenly small and weak when I am on my scooter. If the bad driver on her cell phone got out of her Ford Escalade, I would tower over her physically when on equal ground.

The point? Oh, you didn't come here for a point, I hope. I really am not trying to make a sweeping realization that you should not already experience occasionally yourself. If you insist on some moral to this episode I leave you this:
Hang up the phone.
Turn off the television.
Put down the ridiculous magazine with that infantile advice they will contradict next month.
Listen to what is happening around you occasionally without immediately filtering it into categories of importance and worthiness.
Learn to observe and keep quiet.
I happen to come off as verbose and opinionated online because I have the time to collect my thoughts and I don't have to worry about interrupting someone else's conversation. In real life I tend to sit silently when I can and only give my often boisterous opinion when I feel it is appropriate. I know I concern people sometimes because what they perceive as my opinion has been formed in their minds long before they know the truth. For this reason I seldom tell people what I really think. It would be a waste of breath.
Again, if they spent more time in silence they might actually learn something.

Oh well. Take this for what it is: Nothing more than the rambling that happens in my mind when I travel outside of my cage.

Where Have I Been?

2007-08-22T14:13:00.002-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I know there has been a huge lack of updates to this blog. I have about half a dozen ideas stashed in the back of my head that I haven't gotten to.

I figured I would get them all out during the time between semesters, but that didn't happen. I got caught up in my scooter riding, took a trip to Chicago, did a lot of reading, and spent way too much time on Twitter.

I have no good excuse for not posting.
I certainly have not grown bored or weary of my blog, but I just had too much fun loafing this summer. My fall classes start in a couple weeks. I'll be busy as all get out, but I will probably actually post more because of it. Funny how it seems to work out that way.

If anyone is still hanging out waiting for content, keep waiting.
I'll get there when I get there! :-)

I am Optimus Prime! :-)

2007-08-16T14:47:00.001-04:00

I AM
66%
OPTIMUS PRIME Take the Transformers Quiz

Don't take a picture, and it will last longer.

2007-07-23T12:11:00.001-04:00

I spent this past weekend with my family in Chicago. One of our stops was at The Art Institute of Chicago. The Art Institute is very near and dear to me as I spent time as a student there some years ago. Coming back with the family to peruse its vast galleries had me all (internally) giddy. I had planned to spend extended periods of time saying hello to some old favorites and finding new sources of wonder.

Sadly, I was followed to the Art Institute by the worst class of people: Shutter bugs.
I wish they had stayed away during my visit.
I am very glad they they are financially supporting the Art Institute in the continued preservation of legitimate works of art, but I found it insulting as an artist and as a human being how these people behaved.

Let us follow the path of the swarming shutter bug...
First they need to pick up a map of the galleries, but never use it as it is more convenient to loudly ask the guards for information rather than read and deduce their surroundings.
Next, quickly move from room to room, only stopping to check the name of the artist.
If the name is famous enough to have made it onto a tacky screen saver or t shirt, step back and take a photo before moving on to the next famous name.
Then, if you do not recognize the name, quickly point out to your companion that you don't understand the work, or that you are slightly intrigued because it looks really detailed.
Of course we all know, it's detail that makes art great.

Did you notice the conspicuously absent movement in their flight? That is correct, they never stop to look at the painting or sculpture they just took a picture of.
They probably drove from some far off location, spent money to park and gain access to this great repository of creative works, only to pause just long enough for their camera phone to focus before moving on.
My stomach turned as these people stepped in front of me over and over again. They must have thought I was part of the exhibit. They might have thought I was deranged for staring for so long at these motionless frames. "Dear Lord, how could anything not moving and flashing hold my attention for so long?"

I can only believe these people move through life on principals based on collection, not experience.

To have a computer slide show of the place they went outweighs the intrinsic value of introspection. To have literally "Been there, done that, got the t shirt" IS the part of the journey that matters to them. These swarms of people fly through life looking to merely capture a glimpse of what T.V. or some magazine has told them is important. They want the Cliff's Notes experience. Same as the other areas of life that they fill with whatever is currently the most popular experience. For all the effort, they should have purchased a calendar of famous French artists from Amazon and saved themselves the travel expenses. Taking a trip just so you can say you were there is pointless and a waste of effort.

I have a suggestion for those who are only there to say they went somewhere: Stay home!

Leave the galleries for those who wish to look and think and discover. I used to believe that if people exposed themselves to art that they would come to appreciate it more. I can no longer sustain that assumption. The vast majority has traded in thought, logic, emotion, reality, history and appreciation for things inferior to themselves. If you want things flashing and blinking, stay home and get dumber on your own time, as some of us would like a moment alone with the great artists who gave so much to the medium they held and sometimes died for.

I Don't Have Enough Time

2007-07-19T20:17:00.000-04:00

I don't have enough time.
I'm refusing to catch up.
I'm choosing not to connect.

I need consumer spending trends, cable TV, internet, Tivo, toys, boats, movies, cars, clothes, mindlessness on TV.

I'm busy filling my children's lives with activities.
I'm busy filling our lives with activities.
I'm busy with needless chatter and the like.

I need to ignore this hole, you know.
I'm choosing not to catch up.
I need to ignore the silent knocking on my heart, you see?

I would not be an American if you ever caught me resting.
It would just not be right, if I was ever caught resisting.

A Requiem

2007-07-19T19:36:00.000-04:00

We weep over people we have never met.
We care nothing for those we have held and cried with.

Ties do not bind us
Ties quickly dissolve.

What was it that brings us together?
Was it the same thing that tears us apart?

We ask for our destruction daily by the forms in which we trespass.
When will we stop fighting?
Is the pride in us too strong?
When the end has come, what will your excuse be?
What will you say, to defend your inhumanity?

How is it you can care so little?
It is so sad how little we care.

How is it you can care so little about those whom have held you and cried for you?
How is it you weep for those you have never touched?

Twitter: A Life Examined

2007-06-28T12:18:00.000-04:00

"An unexamined life is not worth living."
-Socrates

Twitter is a stupid waste of time with no redeemable value. There, I've said it. If you've never used Twitter this is exactly what you probably think. In some sense you would be correct. Small 140 character smatterings of text do nothing in and of themselves. However, in a grander view I see it providing two unique ways of accomplishing something with great intrinsic value.

How much of your life do you go about in cruse control? I would wager that most of your life is routine and you would never take the time to think about how it could be better or more full filing. People used to widely use journals or diaries. Blogs are now used mostly for small collections of thoughts and essays. Neither the diary or the blog, though, capture reflections of your life as they happen. Whether it was intentional or not, Twitter is causing thousands of people to actively think about their life as it happens without filtering out the mundane or seemingly trivial. Think about how writing short clips of your life and reading others has changed your perspective on some of the things in your life. I would bet that some lost hobbies, books, people and interests have been rediscovered.

And then there is the business networking aspect.
What is the business advantage to social networking sites like Twitter in the new business world?
It used to be that business relationships were forged over long periods of time and many business people had a handful of close business partners that they would know and work with for decades.
Today's business world can be quite different than the one of, say, forty years ago. People come and go with little long term connection to each other. With Twitter you can see how you can connect to as many people as you wish and gain insight into them as people and as business contacts. A large connection of loosely associated business contacts mirrors the way the internet functions. An ad hoc worldwide group to pick from gives flexibility not available to the previous generation.

No, Twitter has no obvious value. Twitter may seem like a big, silly chat room, but only if you never take advantage of the value presented by the human beings and friends connected to it.

I am a Semicolon!

2007-06-27T23:44:00.000-04:00

Your Score: Semicolon

You scored 7% Sociability and 82% Sophistication!

Congratulations! You are the semicolon! You are the highest expression of punctuation; no one has more of a right to be proud. In the hands of a master, you will purr, sneering at commas, dismissing periods as beneath your contempt. You separate and connect at the same time, and no one does it better. The novice will find you difficult to come to terms with, but you need no one. You are secure in your elegance, knowing that you, and only you, have the power to mark the skill or incompetence of the craftsman.

You have no natural enemies; all fear you.

And never, NEVER let anyone tell you that you cannot appear in dialogue!

Link: The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test written by Gazda on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Pretty Flower, Pretty Thorns

2007-06-14T21:31:00.000-04:00

Where flowers bloom so does hope.
- Lady Bird Johnson, Public Roads: Where Flowers Bloom

Breakfast in Waffle-Ville

2007-06-14T08:46:00.001-04:00

It might nearly be time for a new waffle maker.

MMmmmmm Waffles! If ever there was a more precise and tasty food, I have not seen it. Really, designing your breakfast to hold syrups, honey, fruit: genius!

Yeast-raised are my favorite kind, followed closely by Belgium waffles.

I really cannot overcome the desire to cut them up into symmetrical squares and eat them in rows. OCD? Maybe...

So You Two Are Identical Twins?

2007-06-13T14:56:00.001-04:00

...or
Man, I can't wait to get my face into those!
Any other fun captions you would like to add?

As far as it goes...

2007-06-12T21:30:00.000-04:00

This picture is not complete.
This photo has no color.
Will it ever be given its due?
Who decides how it should look, how it should be done?

Thorns, rugged edges, twisted, cold, hard, bitter.

Should this plant continue?
Should color be applied to a lifeless form?
What expenditure of effort would bring about a satisfactory conclusion?
Why bother coloring what has died and withered?

Can life be brought to a dormant thing?
Who can decide the color of something that has no purpose?
This one may never continue.
This one may be at the end of its line.
The last of its kind?

Can it continue?
Should it continue?
What formula needs applied to give it life?
What sweet water will give color back to what has been stolen by time?

What hue can I apply?
How much time?
This one will not die.
This one will lie dormant and wait.
Not much different than dying.

Left, Right / Planarflexion, Dorsiflexion

2007-06-07T07:50:00.001-04:00

I need a do-over month.
Yeah, I know, everyone wants a do over once in a while.
I was glad to see the month of May end as it was one of those months where I did not posses the ability to make a decision that would not come out badly. I've had so many doubts about where I'm going to find work once I get done with school and about which degree I should complete. I stand on my statement that school in general is a huge gamble. It feels like I'm being put into a mold that I must make work no matter what happens down the road. I need to be able to change molds when necessary; I'm just that kind of person, I guess.
Sadly, June is not turning out so well, either.
I've got clients that will not pay their bills on time. The Secretary of State (DMV) is not able to complete two simple tasks for me in consecutive order. My ankle has gone into another painful spiral where it is difficult to walk more times than not.
Can I get a do-over thirty years?
Yeah, I know, everyone wants to do over their life once in a while.
Really, one ride down a hill and thirty seconds later, BAM; I'm permanently crippled. The rest of me is fine, really, I mean it. Okay, maybe my head needs examined.
It's all these little dumb decisions I want to try again. Just minor tweaks to the space/time continuum. Just a few small repairs, so to speak. (Cue the Shawn Colvin)
Anyways...
Well, here's hoping that June gets its act together before I ban it from the calendar.

Update: Nope, June goes in the toilet as well. Typical.

More Twitter Related Distractions: Theme Days

2007-06-04T11:58:00.001-04:00

As if Twitter was not distracting enough (see I'm writing about it right now), some community members have taken it upon themselves to create theme days to spice things up. We'll, under the influence if a pound of Twizzler cherry bites I came up with my own optional fun list of theme days I will personally participate in. (This list is of course open to modification at managements leisure.)

Sunday: Llama avatar day.
Monday: Haiku (5,7,5).
Tuesday: Solid color avatar day.
Wednesday: 80's rock/pop star day.
Thursday: Picture of "something around the house".
Friday: "scream at the top of your lungs because people suck Friday!" (angry avatar optional.) or, an alternate twitting theme of "Nurse a Pet Peeve Day."
Edit: 7/28/07 -Additional Friday option: 80's Cartoon Avatar Day.
Saturday: "take a day off and be pseudo normal" day.
Good lord, take a rest, it's only Twitter! :-)

Attack of the Giant Size Salted Nut Roll

2007-06-03T16:46:00.000-04:00

I think we officially have too many choices in our selection of snacks. Apparently it has caused a shortage of proper names for food products.
While at my local Walgreen's today I had the fortune to see this disturbing item on the bottom shelf in the snack shelf.
Is there any rational need for a snack called "Giant Size Salted Nut Roll"?

Lessons From Poppies

2007-05-31T18:49:00.001-04:00

I woke up feeling really disorientated today.
Something in the air felt like punishment.
Maybe it was the arthritis acting up.
Maybe it was the rain that will be falling in the next couple hours.
I really felt there was not going to be anything good coming out of this day.

I was proved wrong.
Outside my door at the steps were two fresh proud poppies. They must have been freshly popped that morning!

I ignored them in my rush to go about my day. This afternoon I encountered them as I was pulling the trash out to the curb and covering my scooter from the impending rain.
I stopped and looked at them again. Paper thin, fragile, each petal shaking with the slightest bit of wind. Their tall stems swayed in the breeze. So bright, so needlessly bright. They serve no purpose, but are so beautiful. Maybe that's all they need to be. They just need to be appreciated for what they are.

If God cares enough to make beautiful poppies by my front steps. How much more does he care about our eternal well being.
I needed that reminder today.

I wish my camera phone did these flowers justice.
I wish people realized the important things in life more often than they do.

Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more [will he clothe] you, O ye of little faith?
Luke 12:27,28

The Classic Leading Man Test

2007-05-30T14:26:00.000-04:00

Your Score: Cary Grant

You scored 14% Tough, 9% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 47% Charming!

You are the epitome of charm and style, the smooth operator who steals the show with your sophisticated wit and quiet confidence. You are able to catch any woman you want just by flashing that disarming smile. When you walk into a room, the women are instantly intrigued and even the men are impressed. When you find yourself in trouble, you are easily able to charm your way out of it, or convince others to help you. You're seen as dashing, suave and romantic. Your co-stars include Katharine Hepburn, Irene Dunne, and Joan Fontaine, stylish women who know a class act when they see it.

Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the
Classic Dames Test.

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test